Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Writer & Lifestyle Designer Nikoya Johnson Thinks Her Way Is Better Than Sex

I haven't checked in on here in a while, but I assuredly have not been ghost from the web. The last you heard of me I was clearly going through and through. Let's just say, I'M OUT OF THE SITUATION.

I needed much clarity, and I have been reading a lot of personal growth blogs, books and material online. It has been quite an experience. One blog I have been reading for many years is Zen Habits (yea like who has't read that) and The Art of Non-Conformity. But lately I have been reading new minimalist blogs and such.

One blogger that I have become particularly hooked on is Nikoya Johnson's site Shortieroc, she talks about challenging the norms, living freely and just taking a risk in life in general. One of her latest blog-posts (and I am writing this because the girl turned off the comments) she states that, "Technology is a powerful tool that is trying to liberate humanity from a form of slavery and limiting levels of consciousness. Are we smart enough to see that, or are we simply depleting its resources, just like we deplete and consume the resources of Mother Nature?"

That really made me think about my worth in the world. I admit I have not been the most giving person in my community, household or overall society, but I would not go so far to imply that the new "savior" of the universe is TECHNOLOGY?

Then I thought about when I was younger, horny and single - what helped me from sleeping around? A little technical device, that was conceptually created by none other than Cleopatra herself - the Vibrator.

Great point Nikoya.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Peices of Shit

I cant believe what is going on right now.

What the hell has my life morphed into?
Did I create this?

Our housemate is a peice of shit. Living here is a shit hole.. I dont know what the fuxk my man is... what he is doing or what is going on inside his head. SHIT.

Ive been smoking (well, inbetween my man and I) a pack of fucking $9 Newport Lights a day... (and its $12 in New York). That is such a waste, but right about now it's almost like I need that fucking pasifier to survive and deal with all the drama. Finiancial crisis, employment, iTunes, our company, and this FUCKING bitch whore that live with us in this HELL HOLE. I need to release. And Ive been drinkng like a damn FISHHHHHH.

It was so weird today, I looked in the history of my netbook and apparently my man has been going on the most freakiest porn sites on MY PC for the past month DAILY.. I was pissed as shit... and I let him know.... (I like to be included at least). I thought I was trying and succeeding at all of his FUCKING desires. I guess not. Men will always be men. Fucking ASSHOLES. I feel like my FUCKING head is going to explode right about now. I do not know what to do. I have been living in this boring ass, dead ass, town for 3 months now, and I feel like I just need to seriously get the fuck out.

Get Away.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Nocturnal Workout

I was so excited for my hubby to return home last night from his 24 hour business trip to Seattle.

I had only been without him for a full day, and when he returned it was like I had not seen him in a really, really long time. (Sappy, I know) but I am learning something here. This is what happens when you spend the majority of your life sex deprived and horny and confused: a sex feign and borderline addict. We have been together for 5 years and some days, I know we are together because we love each other and we believe we are soul mates and everything, etc., etc. But last night it was all about the sex. It was not about making love, not about a romantic night. Just hardcore action in the car first, then on our condo staircase, and... yea finally- in our bed. How does this virginal wife become so sexually adept? How does one go from not even liking to be touched (because she knows where it will lead too and is to fearful of the pain) be a converted woman with a sex drive of a porn star, or man for that matter?

I do not know the dynamics of why the change is so drastic, but I do know this. I came 5 times last night and it was great. I didn't even have to try. No oral, no prelude with a toy or extensive foreplay. Just straight up sex, strict and constant boa and cookie interaction- for about 5 hours.

I usually hate to have sex in the car, but he got turned on and I was already juicy- and once he reached down to touch my cookie and became aware of that fact, the boa wanted to come out to play. We just couldn't wait! Even though I'm practically bedridden today (and drugged up on tylenol) due to a sore hip and cracked neck, I have a glorious smile on my face.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My Sex Voyage pt. 1

So, eventually I learned that my difficulties were due to more emotional circumstances, as opposed to most physical circumstances. When I discovered this fact, with professional assistance, I was belated! But then it dawned on me suddenly, that if it was not a solely physical obstacle, then it must be mental/emotional. My heart began beating faster, pounding hard and ringing in my ears with a resounding thud that seemed as if everyone in the room could hear. All I could think was: if it is an emotional issue- how in the hell am I supposed to get rid of that? I was convinced that this was definitely not got going to be a quick fix. Although, there are conditions that physically prevent women from engaging in sex such as Vaginismus (sounds gross) but is actually a severe spasm that occurs inside the cookie and the surrounding muscles- which is highly painful- I did not receive that diagnosis. I have read from my extensive research that many women have this condition, and in stage level 4 it is so severe, that some receive up to 75 botox injections to inflate and fatten up the cookie, enabling comfort during penetration. That was shocking, but unfortunately I was not so fortunate to be in that category and have that simple of a fix.

I will be sharing more of my story in following posts!....

Today is WED aka Hump Day... and for this blog on every WED the "hump day" I would like to share a few of my favorite sexually related luxuries.

This little bundle of joy is coined with the name "The Pussy Pleaser". It is budget friendly at a price of $21.95. I particularly love this toy to use as a appetizer before engaging in intercourse. You can use it for stimulation for an instant mood setter to get your juices flowing, or you can use it strictly solo- it will get you to that ultimate climax every time! You can purchase this at a store near you, of visit - it's a safe, discreet and secure site.

Astroglide - this is essential to the sexual experience. My hubby & I started using this for fun, and we really enjoy it's non-sticky texture. This can be bought in local stores, or once again at Xandria.

Happy Hump Day #1!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

"It Hurts Bad, But It Feels So Good"

For me and my first time: excruciating.

It still hurts, even now. The difference now is that I can enjoy it, and end in a climatic height of pleasure 97% of the time- but it was not always like that in the beginning. I am one of the thousands of women who 1) experience severe pain during intercourse, 2) is relatively fearful of engaging in the act of sex due to the anticipation of the pain, 3) was in so much pain during sex that it literally felt as if my partner was pushing up against some solid wall on the inside of my cookie.

One night I was so troubled by the fact that my partner and I had not had sex or even attempted to have sex in almost 6 months. I knew I had to get help. Later that same night, Tyra Banks graced her presence on my TV monitor, bearing a message and story of tidings and good news. I watched in utter amusement, as she graciously walked through her TV audience, her long and golden tresses flowing, as she introduced the topic of her show for that day- and it was about sex. Specifically, women who could not have it due to significant pain. She was to have a series of several women come on stage and talk about their personal challenges during sex, and how they could not engage in or even think about sex without squinching, because they experienced so much pain. I was comforted about the fact that I was not the only one with a troubling sex life. These women were just like me, and were not able to have sex, or had a past were they were not able to have sex but could now due to professional help- both physically and mentally, to assist them to get over the pain.

This blog is inspired by the past that I experienced, and all that I have learned. I will write about my painful past, all the problems my partner and I went through, the victory to freedom, erotica, owning your own sexuality, and specifically the act of sex and its components including tantra.

Happy reading.