Thursday, July 16, 2009

Nocturnal Workout

I was so excited for my hubby to return home last night from his 24 hour business trip to Seattle.

I had only been without him for a full day, and when he returned it was like I had not seen him in a really, really long time. (Sappy, I know) but I am learning something here. This is what happens when you spend the majority of your life sex deprived and horny and confused: a sex feign and borderline addict. We have been together for 5 years and some days, I know we are together because we love each other and we believe we are soul mates and everything, etc., etc. But last night it was all about the sex. It was not about making love, not about a romantic night. Just hardcore action in the car first, then on our condo staircase, and... yea finally- in our bed. How does this virginal wife become so sexually adept? How does one go from not even liking to be touched (because she knows where it will lead too and is to fearful of the pain) be a converted woman with a sex drive of a porn star, or man for that matter?

I do not know the dynamics of why the change is so drastic, but I do know this. I came 5 times last night and it was great. I didn't even have to try. No oral, no prelude with a toy or extensive foreplay. Just straight up sex, strict and constant boa and cookie interaction- for about 5 hours.

I usually hate to have sex in the car, but he got turned on and I was already juicy- and once he reached down to touch my cookie and became aware of that fact, the boa wanted to come out to play. We just couldn't wait! Even though I'm practically bedridden today (and drugged up on tylenol) due to a sore hip and cracked neck, I have a glorious smile on my face.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My Sex Voyage pt. 1

So, eventually I learned that my difficulties were due to more emotional circumstances, as opposed to most physical circumstances. When I discovered this fact, with professional assistance, I was belated! But then it dawned on me suddenly, that if it was not a solely physical obstacle, then it must be mental/emotional. My heart began beating faster, pounding hard and ringing in my ears with a resounding thud that seemed as if everyone in the room could hear. All I could think was: if it is an emotional issue- how in the hell am I supposed to get rid of that? I was convinced that this was definitely not got going to be a quick fix. Although, there are conditions that physically prevent women from engaging in sex such as Vaginismus (sounds gross) but is actually a severe spasm that occurs inside the cookie and the surrounding muscles- which is highly painful- I did not receive that diagnosis. I have read from my extensive research that many women have this condition, and in stage level 4 it is so severe, that some receive up to 75 botox injections to inflate and fatten up the cookie, enabling comfort during penetration. That was shocking, but unfortunately I was not so fortunate to be in that category and have that simple of a fix.

I will be sharing more of my story in following posts!....

Today is WED aka Hump Day... and for this blog on every WED the "hump day" I would like to share a few of my favorite sexually related luxuries.

This little bundle of joy is coined with the name "The Pussy Pleaser". It is budget friendly at a price of $21.95. I particularly love this toy to use as a appetizer before engaging in intercourse. You can use it for stimulation for an instant mood setter to get your juices flowing, or you can use it strictly solo- it will get you to that ultimate climax every time! You can purchase this at a store near you, of visit - it's a safe, discreet and secure site.

Astroglide - this is essential to the sexual experience. My hubby & I started using this for fun, and we really enjoy it's non-sticky texture. This can be bought in local stores, or once again at Xandria.

Happy Hump Day #1!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

"It Hurts Bad, But It Feels So Good"

For me and my first time: excruciating.

It still hurts, even now. The difference now is that I can enjoy it, and end in a climatic height of pleasure 97% of the time- but it was not always like that in the beginning. I am one of the thousands of women who 1) experience severe pain during intercourse, 2) is relatively fearful of engaging in the act of sex due to the anticipation of the pain, 3) was in so much pain during sex that it literally felt as if my partner was pushing up against some solid wall on the inside of my cookie.

One night I was so troubled by the fact that my partner and I had not had sex or even attempted to have sex in almost 6 months. I knew I had to get help. Later that same night, Tyra Banks graced her presence on my TV monitor, bearing a message and story of tidings and good news. I watched in utter amusement, as she graciously walked through her TV audience, her long and golden tresses flowing, as she introduced the topic of her show for that day- and it was about sex. Specifically, women who could not have it due to significant pain. She was to have a series of several women come on stage and talk about their personal challenges during sex, and how they could not engage in or even think about sex without squinching, because they experienced so much pain. I was comforted about the fact that I was not the only one with a troubling sex life. These women were just like me, and were not able to have sex, or had a past were they were not able to have sex but could now due to professional help- both physically and mentally, to assist them to get over the pain.

This blog is inspired by the past that I experienced, and all that I have learned. I will write about my painful past, all the problems my partner and I went through, the victory to freedom, erotica, owning your own sexuality, and specifically the act of sex and its components including tantra.

Happy reading.