For me and my first time: excruciating.
It still hurts, even now. The difference now is that I can enjoy it, and end in a climatic height of pleasure 97% of the time- but it was not always like that in the beginning. I am one of the thousands of women who 1) experience severe pain during intercourse, 2) is relatively fearful of engaging in the act of sex due to the anticipation of the pain, 3) was in so much pain during sex that it literally felt as if my partner was pushing up against some solid wall on the inside of my cookie.
One night I was so troubled by the fact that my partner and I had not had sex or even attempted to have sex in almost 6 months. I knew I had to get help. Later that same night, Tyra Banks graced her presence on my TV monitor, bearing a message and story of tidings and good news. I watched in utter amusement, as she graciously walked through her TV audience, her long and golden tresses flowing, as she introduced the topic of her show for that day- and it was about sex. Specifically, women who could not have it due to significant pain. She was to have a series of several women come on stage and talk about their personal challenges during sex, and how they could not engage in or even think about sex without squinching, because they experienced so much pain. I was comforted about the fact that I was not the only one with a troubling sex life. These women were just like me, and were not able to have sex, or had a past were they were not able to have sex but could now due to professional help- both physically and mentally, to assist them to get over the pain.
This blog is inspired by the past that I experienced, and all that I have learned. I will write about my painful past, all the problems my partner and I went through, the victory to freedom, erotica, owning your own sexuality, and specifically the act of sex and its components including tantra.